HOARDING

I must confess that I've watched the show "Hoarders" several times. It's an awfully sad situation. For those who have not seen it, the show focuses on people who can't seem to get rid of any possessions. These possessions range from household items to dachshunds to chickens. In fact, the houses of these unfortunate individuals are crammed with junk, dogs, cats, etc. to the point where the dwellings are unlivable.

Sad, indeed.

In my never-ending quest for the truth I must ask: At what point do we become hoarders and not just "normal people with too much stuff"? Truthfully, the greatest challenge that we face as we grow older is not Social Security or incontinence. It's what to do with all of the crap that we have jammed in the house.

There was a trend a few years ago that seems to have stalled out. That trend was downsizing. This occurs when a couple finally rid themselves of the children in their lives and find themselves alone in a 3,000 square foot home. The smart thing to do would be to sell the McMansion and move into a smaller place. For the sake of argument, let's say that the new place would be in the 1,000 square foot category - certainly plenty of room for an older couple. The trouble that people had was that they couldn't part with all of the possessions that they had accumulated through the years. Rather than move, people decided to stay in the McMansions.

Bear in mind that I am not pointing fingers at other people. The wife and I are hoarders in our own right. What do we hoard?

Bowling trophies? Pens and pencils? Books? Small animals?

No to all of the above. We are glassware hoarders.

I went around the house today and counted all of the drinking vessels that we have jammed into our cupboards. The numbers are shocking. All told, the two people living in our house have amassed a total of 253 drinking vessels; 252 if you don't count the dogs' water dish.

Here's the breakdown:

Water glasses: 30

Beer glasses: 23

Shot glasses: 9

Wine glasses: 61

Martini glasses: 8

Large tumblers: 4

Margarita glasses: 14

Coffee cups: 28

Plastic cups: 12

Disposable cups: 50 (approx.)

Vessels of unknown purpose: 13

Dog dish: 1

NOTE: I didn't count the large plastic drinking vessel that I received during my stay at Valley View Hospital. I think that they charged me $1,000 for it and I only included glassware that was under $1,000.

In looking at the inventory of drinking vessels that we have on-hand, it looks like we're running a little short on shot glasses. Should the U.S. Marines show up here for a get-together we may run out.

I'd better get to Target today.

Readers, enjoy your day.