HEAVEN AND HELL

I've been giving a lot of thought to this lately. Why? Because I'm retired and don't have much else to think about, I guess. I'd like to think that our creator, being the creative type, could have done much better than promulgating the existing perceptions of heaven and hell. Eternal bliss vs. eternal flames are both too predictable and, well, boring. Both heaven and hell should be relevant to a particular person's experiences on Earth. That is, what is heaven for one person may be hell for another. Example: a hardened sailor may find life on land to be pure hell. Conversely, someone who has lived away from water may find life on the open seas to be tortuous. Thus, heaven and hell need to be targeted accordingly.

Sometimes, however, there are hells that apply to everyone; take Florida, for example.

I've carefully compiled and honest list of my personal heavens and hells, all of which could be used by our creator for or against me, depending on how much the creator feels that I have pleased or displeased him (her?).

Heaven: Listening to Beethoven's Fifth

Hell: Consuming a fifth of Pagan Pink Ripple Wine

Heaven: Colorado Rockies (the mountains)

Hell: Colorado Rockies (the baseball team)

Heaven: Spending time with my wife

Hell: Spending time with my ex-wife

Heaven: Boston Red Sox, 1918, 2004 and 2007

Hell: Boston Red Sox, any other year

Heaven: A Saturday afternoon enjoying fine cheese

Hell: A Saturday afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese

Heaven: New York pizza

Hell: Chicago pizza

Heaven: A Princess cruise

Hell: A Disney cruise

Heaven: John Elway

Hell: Tim Tebow

Heaven: My wife's cooking

Hell: My mother's cooking

Heaven: ESPN
Hell: Fox News Channel

Heaven: Swordfish
Hell: Tuna Fish

Heaven: Denver Broncos, 1997
Hell: Denver Broncos, 2011

and, lastly:

Heaven: Marriage

Hell: Marriage

Readers, enjoy your day.