THE FIVE SEASONS OF THE ROCKIES

Someone told me when I moved here that there are four seasons: summer, fall, winter and mud season. You know, the one that people who live in normal parts of the world call spring. This year we have added a new season which shall now be named turd season. It comes midway through winter and before mud season in years such as this one when snow starts becoming scarce in late January.

It works as follows: there are a few strong snowstorms in December and early January. During these storms people walk their dogs and don't pick up what the dogs leave behind. During the storms, no worries, the fresh waste is covered with a layer of fresh snow and no one is any the wiser. The $100 fine (that the city never enforces anyway) is all but forgotten. The dog walks away with the afterglow of a job well done. Its owner, after looking around for observers to this noxious act, revels in the fact that he/she does not have to deal with picking up the steaming mass and possibly foul his/her Bruno Magli gloves.

Everybody's happy and the world is beautiful again.

But wait. Several weeks go by without snow. The temperature climbs into the 40's. The snow progressively melts. Those beautiful piles of snow that once resembled a New England Currier and Ives scene are now dotted with...OH, NO, IT CAN'T BE...amorphous wet dog poop.

Just like your Aunt Mildred who comes uninvited every Christmas, it's back and it's not going away. Furthermore, every day that is over 32 degrees reveals a new and exciting layer of waste.

"Look, there's one - must be that Dachshund that belongs to the folks who live on the next block.. Holy moley Margaret, will you look at that one - must have been that St. Bernard that lives on the corner. All I can say is WOW!"

 I for one am sick of this mess and I plan on doing something about it.

March on city hall? No.
Complain to the offending dog owners? No.
Pick up the offensive waste? No.
Set up a neighborhood committee? No.

I plan on doing the only thing that will make this problem disappear:

Pray for more snow.


Readers, enjoy your day.