SNOW REMOVAL

Snow removal is a hot topic here in the Rockies. This is due to the fact that there's not much else to talk about. Here we are expected to remove snow from our sidewalks. Again, for lack of much else to do, I have made some careful and detailed observations about snow removal and snow removers.

Here are some of the population segments as I see them:

Non-believers: Let's face it, some folks just can't or don't want to remove snow. These folks are easy to spot. They usually have bumper stickers on their cars that say "I Love Maui". I've got an off-topic question - who doesn't love Maui?

Blowers: These are people who use snow blowers to remove snow. I saw a guy last week using a leaf blower - most amazing thing I've ever seen. All of the snow was going into his neighbor's yard. My kind of guy. Folks that own snow blowers love to talk horsepower - some of these things look like they can plow a parking lot, let alone a sidewalk. It's a guy thing - I've never seen a female wielding a snow blower although I hear that it happens in Northern Wisconsin. One of my friends had an itty-bitty snow blower that had brushes that went wildly around an axle and kind of flagellated the snow into submission. We called it the "Snow Slapper". It threw the snow maybe three inches and had difficulty in snow depths greater than a half-inch. I'll bet it would do just fine in San Diego.

Shovelers: These hearty traditionalists have shovels of all shapes and sizes. There's a shovel with a bend in the handle that's supposed to be good for your back. Here's a hot flash: If you're worried about your back, you should be living in a place that doesn't get any snow...how about Maui. I saw a guy the other day with a pink shovel. He said that he painted it pink so that no one would steal it. I can't argue with that.

Salters: These people leave the snow where it is, spread an inch of rock salt on top of it and hope that it melts before April. Sometimes it does. The folks at the County building are the worst offenders. They have a guy there who spreads salt with a lawn fertilizer spreader. "Up here in the Rockies we care about the environment" say the brochures. Ya, right. 

Environmentally conscious salters use something called "Green Earth Solid Ice Melt" (notice they don't call it "salt"?). The information about this product states:

"Green color makes material easily visible to avoid overuse."

Unfortunately, the Green Salters in town never got the memo - some of the sidewalks here are so green they look like Astro Turf.

Readers, enjoy your day.