We wimpy fair weather skiers have declared that it's too cold to ski. It's about zero degrees today and has been for several weeks.
No matter. Truth be known, unless there are perfect conditions, I tend to bag it for the day. Two clouds in the sky? Nope, can't go. Only thirty degrees? It has to be at least thirty one.
This undoubtedly reflects a generally unfavorable attitude toward winter. I think that this happens with age, as many of my friends who are also old farts tend to be of the same mindset. That's why old coots move to Miami and Phoenix once they hit my age and spend the rest of their days whining, particularly those who retreat to Miami. Me, I'm better than that; I'll spend the rest of my days in Colorado...whining.
Days and weeks like this make me long for the time that we lived in New Mexico. Honestly, if you like ideal weather, constant sunshine, minimal snow and great Mexican food, move to New Mexico...don't hesitate, do it today. Be aware, however, that there are a few drawbacks to living there. Here are a few:
New Mexico license plates are brandished with the slogan "Land of Enchantment". New Mexicans, however, fondly refer to their state as the "Land of Manana". That is, if something is promised to you on Tuesday, it means it might be ready on Wednesday. I had a guy repairing a guitar for me. He said it would be ready in a week. After a week I called him. He said it wasn't ready and said he'd call me when it is. Two weeks later I called him again. He said it wasn't ready and said he'd call me when it is. I decided to quit bugging him and didn't call him for three weeks. After the three weeks, still not having heard from him, I paid him a visit at his shop. I asked him if the guitar was ready. He said, "it was ready 2 weeks ago, why didn't you call?"
If it rains, be afraid, be very afraid. New Mexicans overall are good drivers but they don't know how to drive in the rain. This is not unexpected since it rains there about one minute a year. Worse than that, snowy road conditions, which are also rare, create a veritable demolition derby on the highways. Things are so bad that schools are called off when the weather forecast even hints at snow. That's because the state's three snowplows can't keep up. Ultimately the best thing to do is to stay at home and avoid the carnage.
If you are looking for culture in New Mexico, find out where the nearest flea market is. You will find a huge mix of people, bums to bankers, perusing piles of stolen merchandise. If your lawn mower suddenly disappears from your yard, chances are it's for sale at the flea market. The guy selling it may even make you a deal. Some kidding aside, Albuquerque has a dandy flea market and I hear that Santa Fe has the best one in the state.
In New Mexico, things are never black and white. Rather, people, sensing that you are an outsider, may approach you and ask you whether you are red or green. This local query is unique to New Mexico and is a way that the locals size you up, much like a dog sniffing another one's ass. What they are asking is whether you prefer red or green chile. If you don't understand the question and say "huh?" you are the lowest form of life, probably from Chicago or New York and should stay there. If you reply "red", you are probably a Texas transplant and are equally disgusting. If you reply "green", you are either a genuine Chilehead or a wanna-be. To assess whether you are the real deal, they will look you up and down for a few seconds. If you are wearing a ripped wife-beater t-shirt with week-old guacamole stains, they know that you're a local. They'll accept you instantly and will likely ask you to marry their son or daughter. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are wearing anything that refers to how much you love Santa Fe, they'll peg you as a low-life tourist and will steal your car.
That's my take on the Land of Enchantment - sincerely, one of my favorite places in the whole world. If anyone should ask about me, tell them that I am "green", through and through.
Readers, enjoy your day.
New Mexico license plates are brandished with the slogan "Land of Enchantment". New Mexicans, however, fondly refer to their state as the "Land of Manana". That is, if something is promised to you on Tuesday, it means it might be ready on Wednesday. I had a guy repairing a guitar for me. He said it would be ready in a week. After a week I called him. He said it wasn't ready and said he'd call me when it is. Two weeks later I called him again. He said it wasn't ready and said he'd call me when it is. I decided to quit bugging him and didn't call him for three weeks. After the three weeks, still not having heard from him, I paid him a visit at his shop. I asked him if the guitar was ready. He said, "it was ready 2 weeks ago, why didn't you call?"
If it rains, be afraid, be very afraid. New Mexicans overall are good drivers but they don't know how to drive in the rain. This is not unexpected since it rains there about one minute a year. Worse than that, snowy road conditions, which are also rare, create a veritable demolition derby on the highways. Things are so bad that schools are called off when the weather forecast even hints at snow. That's because the state's three snowplows can't keep up. Ultimately the best thing to do is to stay at home and avoid the carnage.
If you are looking for culture in New Mexico, find out where the nearest flea market is. You will find a huge mix of people, bums to bankers, perusing piles of stolen merchandise. If your lawn mower suddenly disappears from your yard, chances are it's for sale at the flea market. The guy selling it may even make you a deal. Some kidding aside, Albuquerque has a dandy flea market and I hear that Santa Fe has the best one in the state.
In New Mexico, things are never black and white. Rather, people, sensing that you are an outsider, may approach you and ask you whether you are red or green. This local query is unique to New Mexico and is a way that the locals size you up, much like a dog sniffing another one's ass. What they are asking is whether you prefer red or green chile. If you don't understand the question and say "huh?" you are the lowest form of life, probably from Chicago or New York and should stay there. If you reply "red", you are probably a Texas transplant and are equally disgusting. If you reply "green", you are either a genuine Chilehead or a wanna-be. To assess whether you are the real deal, they will look you up and down for a few seconds. If you are wearing a ripped wife-beater t-shirt with week-old guacamole stains, they know that you're a local. They'll accept you instantly and will likely ask you to marry their son or daughter. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are wearing anything that refers to how much you love Santa Fe, they'll peg you as a low-life tourist and will steal your car.
That's my take on the Land of Enchantment - sincerely, one of my favorite places in the whole world. If anyone should ask about me, tell them that I am "green", through and through.
Readers, enjoy your day.
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