SMUGGLING

Please ignore for a minute the title of this entry. I'll get to it in due time.

Canadians have a wonderful snack food that they hold near and dear to their hearts. In sharp contrast to Canadians' normally likeable nature, they won't share their favorite snack with their neighbors to the south. Between this and our not being able to delight in a purely Canadian Tim Horton's donut in the U.S., I'm a bit perturbed with Canada. The object of my discontent is Canadian "Cheezies", a junk food so junky that it should be banned in civilized countries. For those not in the know, Cheezies are similar to Cheetos but with more fat, salt and cheese...and other "stuff".

In short, they're an irresistible delicacy.

O.K, let's get to the subject at hand - SMUGGLING. As we left Canada a few days ago, we entered the black hole known as U.S. Customs and Immigration. The customs agent asked us the usual questions, including "are you bringing any food items into the U.S.?" Feeling somewhat like we were in confession we declared that we were crossing into the U.S. with a considerable load of Cheezies. The look on the agent's face said it all: humor, disgust, revulsion, disbelief, among others. The agent, feeling that we were Cheezies virgins, lectured us on the evils of this Canadian delicacy, stamped our passports and sent us on our way.

It occurred to us that the agent brushed us off rather rapidly, not wishing to further delve into other Canadian products that we may be carrying which might offend his sense of haute cuisine.

Which leads (mercifully) to the point of today's sermon:

If you wish to smuggle illegal items from Canada to the U.S., declare a large quantity of Cheezies.

They're the ultimate diversion.

Readers, enjoy your day.