SHEEP

Having just returned from a two week walking trip in Ireland, I consider myself an expert on the subject of sheep. Having closely observed these fascinating creatures, I hereby offer some stunning insights.

Sheep make one, and only one sound:

"Baaa".

Young sheep, old sheep, males, females, black, white - the sound is the same:

"Baaa".

At first, I thought that "baaa" was part of some sort of philosophical discussion between and among the sheep, described as follows:

Sheep #1: "Baaa" (Translation: "How do you justify one's belief in existentialism? It just doesn't work for me.")

Sheep #2: "Baaa" (Translation: "That's a bit heavy for me. I'd rather talk about Beethoven, Brahms or Bach.")

After a few days I realized that sheep are probably not engaging in deep discussions when they say "baaa". But what are they saying and what does it mean? So, while quaffing a pint of Guinness Ale in an Irish pub, I asked my fellow quaffers for opinions about sheep communication.

What are they saying? Could they be telling jokes?

Interestingly, very few Irish people know about or care what sheep are saying.

I find that disturbing.

But I pressed on in my quest. In so doing, I found a man who seemed to know a great deal about sheep. He told of the fact that sheep are not especially smart (no surprise there) and that they are members of a tight social group known as a "herd". (Again, nothing new here.) When they say "baaa" they are basically saying "I'm here, where are you?" to other members of the herd. To which other members of the herd reply "baaa" which is saying "I'm over here". In so doing, the sheep communicate in simple terms and satisfy their need to be part of the herd.

I was blown away by this. Spurred on by these insights, I pondered this newly acquired knowledge in this simple Irish pub:

"Paddy, another pint of Guinness...and a shot of Jameson, too."

Summing up my knowledge about sheep:

Sheep are not especially smart, follow a herding instinct and communicate in very simple sentences (if you will) which really don't say very much.

Sounds a lot like Twitter users.

Baaa.

Readers, enjoy your day.