MEDIEVAL TORTURE

Did you know that there is a Museum of Medieval Torture? I'm not joking. This prime tourist attraction is in Amsterdam. If you go to their website (www.tortureamsterdam.com)...and you know you will...you will find the following description of this incredible palace of torture devices:

The Museum

In the Middle Ages, Torture was a widely known punishment for almost all crimes committed, ranging from rape to murder, and above all for heresy. The type of punishment depended on the victim’s crime and social status. The Museum of Medieval Torture Instruments displays over 100 devices used to torture people during medieval times. This unique collection, recreated by pictures and drawings, serves as a grim reminder of how poorly humans can treat one another. As you look at the devices and read about how they were used, you’ll cringe… you leave thankful our society has pasted (sic) the dark ages behind.

I am indeed thankful that torture in civilized societies is a thing of the past. The exceptions to this are, of course, Justin Bieber, Dancing With the Stars, asparagus and the Denver Nuggets. The other exception is the shoe that podiatrists force their patients to wear after their foot surgery (see picture below). As an instrument of torture it has no equal. The insidious Velcro bands dig sharply into one's foot thus causing blood to flow in reverse. The sole is as stiff as 3/4" plywood. The overall feeling it gives the wearer is akin to wearing a canoe on his/her foot.

And the torture of wearing it goes on for three weeks. Thankfully, my podiatrist gave me the o.k. to wear normal shoes and go back to my usual routine so long as I'm careful not to burst my healing wound. Guess I'll have to postpone my skydiving and ultra-marathon running for a while.

Before resuming any sense of normalcy to my life I plan to go to the post office today and mail the shoe in question to the torture museum as a donation to their collection of medieval torture artifacts. I'm doing this with the full knowledge that the museum will turn down the donation, however generous it may be.

It's just too cruel a device to display.

Readers, enjoy your day.