FISHING CAR

When I lived in Minnesota and Wisconsin there was a phenomenon there known as the Fishing Car. Every guy in either state has both a "car" and a Fishing Car. The "car" is normally a  reliable late model sedan; the fishing car is an old beater that runs occasionally. Fishing cars are also used for winter driving so as not to get the "car" covered in slush and road salt. I must confess that I've never had a fishing car...until now.

I bought it as a favor to the local community. It had been parked, literally for years, in front of a buddy's house three blocks from our house. It was an eyesore of enormous proportion. I asked my friend if he was interested in selling it, not so much to get rid of it but as his own urban renewal and beautification project. He wasted little time in deciding that this twisted wreckage would look much better parked in front of my house than his. We looked up the book value, dickered a bit and set the price. I ended up paying $11 less than book value for the car. I immediately invested the $11 dividend in the purchase of several of those little pine tree shaped thingys that hang from the mirror and make your car smell springtime fresh.

In purchasing used cars in the past, I have always taken a few minutes to peruse the numerous things that one may find beneath the seat cushions of a newly acquired used automobile. I'm not particularly interested in the Wal-Mart receipts or the dried up Gummy Bears. It's the loose change that is the object of my quest. True to form, I found loose change totaling nearly $1.75 scattered throughout the car. I proudly spent this princely sum on a PBR draft at the local bar's happy hour. I didn't find enough money in the cushions to leave a tip...sorry.

Fueled by a free beer, I proceeded to fix the critical issues that plagued my Fishing Car. A new battery was installed, thus lessening the need for the jumper cables that every Fishing Car owner keeps in the trunk. The oil, two quarts short and black as the night, was drained and replaced with Wal-Mart quality crude oil. New tires replaced the bald ones and all filters were lovingly changed.

There were some items that were purposely ignored. The AC doesn't work, the driver's side window won't open or close, the rear window wash device is inoperative and the interior light won't come on when you open a door. It has a snazzy stereo system...probably the best in the world...it hasn't worked for years. Lastly, there's an ever-present dashboard light that remains illuminated. It says something about "maintenance required - see dealer". Yeah, right. I took care of that one myself - I stuck some electric tape over the annoying notice.

My goal in life is to drive this car until it needs maintenance of any consequence. Sure, I'll add oil and wiper fluid but that's about as far as I'm willing to go. In the event of the need for more significant maintenance, I plan to park it by the side of the road with the keys in it with the signed ownership title taped to the steering wheel. On the rear window will be a sign that states "FREE CAR". 

To whoever finds the free car, I wish you happy motoring.

Readers, enjoy your day.