DOG "BUSINESS"

It's a subject that no one wants to address. That's the subject of dog "business".

You see them every day - dog owners taking their pets for a "walk". Yes, that's technically true, but the real purpose of the walk is to get the dog to do you know.

So, armed with small plastic bags and a look of frustration on our faces, we mutt parents trudge twice a day with our beloved child substitutes waiting for the moment of truth, as it were.

My dog "Gus" is a Welsh Corgi - they look like hamsters on steroids and they're so darned cute that nearly all passers-by can't resist petting the little buggers. Corgis love it and will eagerly walk an extra hundred yards out of their normal path to get doted on by smiling strangers. You can almost hear the wheels turning in the Corgi's small mind: "Oh boy, here comes a trio of Jack The Ripper, Godzilla and Charles Manson. Let's go and say 'hi'"!

Yesterday's "business walk" with Gus was an interesting experience. It was a blustery day with wind gusts exceeding thirty miles per hour. Limbs were falling from trees, leaves were blowing and dust was in the air. As a result, Gus was distracted and a distracted dog is not a productive dog, (if you know what I mean). So we walked. And walked some more.

Just as Gus was getting to the moment of truth, a well-meaning neighbor approached with a pocket full of dog biscuits and a litany of cute epithets to describe her love of my (now distracted) dog.

The walk goes on. The long-awaited moment of truth again approaches along with the appearance of a guy on a bike. Brakes are applied, down goes the kick stand and Gus goes into another petting-induced frenzy, forgetting about the job at-hand.

I have a great idea. I'm sure that most of us have seen the capes worn by service dogs - the ones that say "I'm a service dog and I have a job to do. Please don't pet me".

I'm thinking about buying my dog his own cape: "I'm Gus and I have a job to do. Go ahead and pet me anyway - you know you want to".

Readers enjoy your day.