DID YOU HEAR THAT?

This situation plays itself out millions of times a day. Neither the country nor the ethnicity or religion of the people involved matter. It's all the same.

Picture a get-together of a group of married couples. There is lively conversation about the usual things - families, kids, schools, churches, politics, etc. Eventually the men in the group are individually asked:

"What did you do today?"

The first man may state a number of things that he had done that day and conclude with...

"...and I cleaned the house."

Invariably, one (or more) of the women in the group will turn to her mate and say:

"Did you hear that? He cleaned the house."

After a few uncomfortable seconds another of the men will be asked about his activity that day. The concluding statement may be...

"...and I bought (name of wife) some roses."

Again, one (or more) of the women in the group will turn to her mate and say:

"Did you hear that? He bought her roses."

After another uncomfortable pause, another of the men will be asked about his activity that day. The concluding statement may be...

"...and I cooked (name of wife) dinner."

Again, one (or more) of the women in the group will turn to her mate and say:

"Did you hear that? He cooked her dinner."

I've always wondered why our wives ask if "we heard that". My guess is that they care about our hearing as much as they care about our vision, dental and other aspects of our overall health.

Guys, if this happens to you, just realize that it's a hearing check.

It couldn't be anything else.

Could it?

Readers, enjoy your day.

THE LANGUAGE OF CARDS

The wife and I enjoy playing cards very much. The game that we most enjoy is a game called "Screw Your Neighbor". For those of you who are familiar with this game, yes, I realize that it is often called another name, but, for the purposes of today's sermon, we'll go with the aforementioned name.

Truthfully, I'm bothered by the terminology used in the playing of Screw Your Neighbor. I think that it is time that we get rid of the offensive verbiage that is associated with this otherwise fun and G-rated card game.

How these offensive words come into play is beyond me. It sickens me.

Can't we just use some civil language?

To that end, I recommend that we eliminate forever the offensive word that is part and parcel of this card game.

That word is "Trump".

I have grown to deeply dislike the word and I encourage all of my readers to start a movement to rid the game of this offensive term. To that end, I have begun substituting the word "Boss" for the aforementioned vile word. Now, instead of saying "hearts are Trump" we say "hearts are BOSS".

It's a much more civilized term.

If you feel differently about this and also dislike the word "Boss", please free to substitute a word of your choosing.

I only ask one thing:

Anything but Trump.


Readers, enjoy your day.

BUCKET LIST (THE SEQUEL)

Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 12, 2016

Hi, Brian.

About this time last year I became obsessed with hiking the Appalachian Trail. Yep, all 2,180 miserable miles of it. In case you've forgotten, see my past blog entry entitled "Bucket List".

I must have been a complete idiot to think that hiking the Appalachian Trail was a good idea. But, I've got a new idea. Let me get back to you about it tomorrow as I'm headed out to do some errands.

More later,

MJ

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Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 13, 2016

Hi, Brian.

Here's a new idea. Being that doing the entire Appalachian Trail is not a good idea (for many reasons) how about doing a small section of the AT? Here's what I propose: we travel to Roanoke, Virginia in mid-May. The AT connects very conveniently just north of Roanoke and will be a great place to start. Furthermore, the Virginia section of the AT is the easiest portion of the entire trail. I'm hoping that you're on board for this. It will be a great adventure.

Let me get back to you tomorrow as I'm headed out for a haircut.

More later,

MJ

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Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 14, 2016

Hi, Brian.

It's me again. O.K., to continue, we hike the AT from Roanoke north for 300 miles. I figure it will take us about a month. Conveniently, we'll finish in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. There, we can catch Amtrak and head back west.

I hope you are as excited as I am. This will be a great trip!

Let me get back to you tomorrow as I'm headed out to walk the dog.

More later.

MJ


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Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 15, 2016

Hi, Brian.

As far as expenses go, it shouldn't be too bad. I'll need to get quite a bit of gear (tent, backpack, sleeping bag, etc.) and it shouldn't "break the bank". Anyway, whatever the cost it will be worth it.

Let me get back to you tomorrow as I'm headed to REI to scope out some equipment.

More later,

MJ

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Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 16, 2016

Hi, Brian.

Well, I went to REI yesterday and scoped out some gear. I got fitted for a backpack. Man, was it comfortable! The salesman was excellent and I figured that he knew what he was talking about because he was a little skinny dude who probably backpacks a lot. Once fitted with the pack, he said that I should try carrying it with a load of weight in it. I figure that we'll each have to carry about 35 pounds, with a 5-day supply of food and all the junk that we'll need to survive. So I told him to load the pack up with 20 pounds. I then proceeded to don the pack and walk around the store. I managed to make it once around the store before I had to take it off. I bitched at the salesman for playing a cruel joke on me and loading it with 50 pounds of weight. He swore it was only 20 pounds.

Let me get back to you tomorrow as I'm headed to the chiropractor.

My back's killing me.

MJ

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Mr. Brian Moran
Albuquerque, NM

February 17, 2016

Hi, Brian.

The chiropractor told me no heavy lifting for a couple of months. So, unfortunately, I'll have to bag the trip. My apologies for the cancellation. It was the salesman's fault.

I still say that he loaded the pack with 50 pounds instead of 20.

MJ


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Readers, enjoy your day.